Death and dealing...

Three doors down from my house with Grandma live my first cousins, once removed. (My grandma’s brother’s kids…my dad’s cousins.) Anyway, Mark is 51 and mentally handicapped. He had a job in town and the bus would pick him up every day to work. Janet is older than him and has health problems so she stays at home all day.

This past Monday Mark had a heart attack at the end of the driveway while waiting for his bus and died in the ambulance before he made it to the hospital. I didn’t know Mark very well, but I went today with Grandma and Janet to the only service that was held for him which was at the business he worked for. It’s a business that has offices and companies from around the city bring in jobs that the handicapped people can do and then they get paid for it.

Grandma, Janet and I showed up to a room full of people who were Mark’s friends. We sat in the front row as a man led the service. We prayed and then everyone sang Jesus Loves Me (at the top of their lungs! It’s all about making a joyful noise ;). Then different people shared about Mark.

One man stood up and said, ‘Mark liked to play Checkers! And he always beat me…’ The man leading the service asked if Mark had to cheat to beat him, ‘Nope!’ Tom piped up. ‘He beat me fair and square.’ Another lady stood up holding a teddy bear. She started crying and simply said, ‘I’m going to miss Mark…’ and then she hugged her bear. Others told stories of times he’s helped them at work or stood up for them. One girl announced that she had been his girlfriend and another man had a poem read that he had written for Mark. They told funny stories and laughed…they shared times they wish they had done something different towards Mark and wanted forgiveness…some missed him already and cried.

Afterwards we were mobbed by these dear people who wanted hugs and handshakes…as if we were their last connection to Mark. It struck me how different it was from any other funeral service I had ever been to. They were so honest...not afraid to touch us and talk to us…not worried about laughing out loud at a funeral…not bogged down by the questions and ‘unfairness’ others seem to deal with. Their friend was gone. They laughed remembering him and cried to think they had to go on without him.