Guide the car, you've got the keys

Farewell to mediocrity

Kicking off the cruise control

And turning up the radio

Got just enough religion

And a half a tank of gas...

Still rolling....now I got my sister on the bandwagon up here in TC :)

Life is hard. But God is good.

Got back to Traverse late Sunday night. Found out first thing Monday morning that one of my good friends up here had just passed away.

Kyle Robert Sonnemann, 28, passed away peacefully in his sleep at his home on Saturday. Though he experienced heart arrhythmias from birth, his death was sudden and unexpected.

I only met Kyle this past semester. We chaperoned a trip to Chicago together. Kyle’s smile was contagious. He was amazing with the youth. We kept hanging out after the trip…coffee, The Office and pictures and stories about each other’s families. He was a poet and shared many of his poems with me.

We were supposed to go snowshoeing together this Winter.

Kyle called me on Christmas day and I never called him back. He wished me a merry Christmas and a safe trip to China.

He had physical difficulties since birth. But he wasn’t defined by his disabilities, but by his abilities.

One day in Chicago Kyle and I were sitting with some of the girls on the grass outside of the Museum of Science and Industry. I got out my camera to take a picture and one of the girls asked what I was going to take a picture of. “I’m waiting for a hot guy to run by”, I said, joking, because there had been lots of joggers that afternoon. Immediately, Kyle jumps up and runs by the group…smiling the whole way. I’m so glad I snapped that picture :)

“this poem is for the boy
who was afraid to grow up
and find out what kind of man
he would be.

this poem is for the teenager
who always thought he wasn’t
good enough at anything, and realized
he was good at being himself.

it’s for a hopeless romantic
who is too afraid to let go of a person
he didn’t want to lose, only to find that
he gains love for himself.

and a new friend.

it is for a man who is realizing
his place in life isn’t to look down
all the time, but to look up and face
his fears.

this poem is about one person, but for so many.”
-Sonny

If you’ve ever had a good friend pass away, you know what it feels like. To lose someone whose number is in your phone and picture on your facebook. That hole, emptiness…even though I know where he is now. I’m sad because I don’t get to hear his laugh or give him a hug again…until heaven.

It struck me yesterday while crying on my way home that I serve a God who can, at the same moment, be comforting me and others in our loss, but also celebrating with Kyle in his joy!

Life is hard, but God is good.

Vindicate me, O God, and plead my cause against an ungodly nation; rescue me from deceitful and wicked men. You are God my stronghold. Why have you rejected me? Why must I go mourning, oppressed by the enemy? Send forth your light and your truth, let them guide me; let them bring me to your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell. Then will I go to the altar of God, to God, my joy and my delight. I will praise you with the harp, O God, my God. Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. – Psalm 43

If anyone knows what was going on in my life year ago from right now (physically, emotionally, and spiritually) it’s starting to repeat itself. But I refuse to let it! Appreciate your prayers…

This week:
Something I worked at: Shoveling the driveway! (It’s not that small, either) I needed to get out and do something. Work and school involve too much sitting. It’s northern Michigan and we got snow :) Makes me happy.
Something I played at: Sledding! There is a huge hill across town and a friend and I went down it. It was so scary! Both times one of us had to drag our feet at the end so we wouldn’t start going back up the other side…into the trees!
Something I laughed at: My littlest brother’s unique drawings.
Something I cried at: Hmmm….well….. I cried when I laughed so hard at the above incident! That’s all ya get ;)
Someone who helped me: Hub helped me get my third new phone! Long story, but I now have a new phone for $50 cheaper than I would have bought it for and without the big crack. Yay!
Someone who makes me smile: Inga. She helps me survive my Tuesday night class.
People I still need to return phone calls to: Suzette, Tim, Benjamin, Vicky, my mom. And those are just the ones I remember.

Something exciting!!!!! I now have unlimited text messaging :) So send me a text sometime…I would love to hear from you. (Of course, calls are awesome too…it’s just that I can’t call you back when I’m in class…but I can text you back from class…hehe…)

It's a small world after all...

This past Thursday night I went to a young adults Bible study that I randomly found out about at school. I had been the Thursday before, but their regular pastor wasn't there so I decided to go back. I've been trying to find some sort of a small group that I can get plugged in to.

After a little bit of talking to the pastor, he asked where I was from and I told him from Ohio. He asked where and I said near Ft. Wayne, Indiana. He said, 'Like by Hicksville?' I was so surprised!! Turns out his best friend was from Hicksville...and was also someone I know ;)

Later I was getting beat in a game of fuseball waiting for the night to start when a guy walked in who looked familiar. Of course, I don't expect to see anyone I know...but I looked again and then I realized who it was. Guess who it was, CGS people? Chris Treadway!!!! Random. So we talked for awhile...but mostly it was just good to see a familiar face...

The Bible study was really good. I'm very thankful I found it...

Death and dealing...

Three doors down from my house with Grandma live my first cousins, once removed. (My grandma’s brother’s kids…my dad’s cousins.) Anyway, Mark is 51 and mentally handicapped. He had a job in town and the bus would pick him up every day to work. Janet is older than him and has health problems so she stays at home all day.

This past Monday Mark had a heart attack at the end of the driveway while waiting for his bus and died in the ambulance before he made it to the hospital. I didn’t know Mark very well, but I went today with Grandma and Janet to the only service that was held for him which was at the business he worked for. It’s a business that has offices and companies from around the city bring in jobs that the handicapped people can do and then they get paid for it.

Grandma, Janet and I showed up to a room full of people who were Mark’s friends. We sat in the front row as a man led the service. We prayed and then everyone sang Jesus Loves Me (at the top of their lungs! It’s all about making a joyful noise ;). Then different people shared about Mark.

One man stood up and said, ‘Mark liked to play Checkers! And he always beat me…’ The man leading the service asked if Mark had to cheat to beat him, ‘Nope!’ Tom piped up. ‘He beat me fair and square.’ Another lady stood up holding a teddy bear. She started crying and simply said, ‘I’m going to miss Mark…’ and then she hugged her bear. Others told stories of times he’s helped them at work or stood up for them. One girl announced that she had been his girlfriend and another man had a poem read that he had written for Mark. They told funny stories and laughed…they shared times they wish they had done something different towards Mark and wanted forgiveness…some missed him already and cried.

Afterwards we were mobbed by these dear people who wanted hugs and handshakes…as if we were their last connection to Mark. It struck me how different it was from any other funeral service I had ever been to. They were so honest...not afraid to touch us and talk to us…not worried about laughing out loud at a funeral…not bogged down by the questions and ‘unfairness’ others seem to deal with. Their friend was gone. They laughed remembering him and cried to think they had to go on without him.

Chicago trip

Most of you know that I had the opportunity to go to Chicago last weekend. I went with a group of high schoolers who are in a scholarship program to come to NMC. They were all either Juniors or Seniors. Jim (the Director of Admissions and a man I work with) heads up the group along with another lady. And joining the two of them were Kyle and I (a bit younger!) as chaperones.

I was really excited about this weekend to get to hang out with the 26 high schoolers....really get to invest in them ...and explore Chicago all at the same time!

We did so much amazing stuff....lets see, where do I start?

• Museum of Science and Industry
• Medieval Times (dinner/theatre thing)
• Chicago pizza!!!
• Shedd's Planetarium
• Broadway show Wicked
• John Hancock building
• And shopping!

It was such a great weekend! My favorite things were the Medieval Times (go Green Knight!!!) and Wicked. SO amazing. (Wicked is the story behind the Wizard of Oz...for those of you who didn't know ;) Anyway, it was a great weekend...and amazingly didn't wipe me out so much that I wasn't ready to crawl out of bed at 6 Monday morning ;)

Praise: Growing relationships here in TC
Prayer: Relationships here (funny how it's the same thing ;)

Love you guys...

Sorry, Suzette, I was having some issues with accepting my comments. Thanks for all of them though ;)

Last weekend I went home again. (Amazing weekend...big thanks to Chad, Donny and my wonderful family for that ;) However, coming back to T.C. is always stressful. The whole ride up all I could think about was how crazy my week was going to be. Abe (the Amish guy I carpool with) gave me this big talk about not worrying about tomorrow and just trusting God to take care of things...take life one day at a time. So I took a deep breath and tried to do that..

Amazingly, Monday was the best day ever. I worked 8-11 and then took an exam at 11:20 (that wasn't the good part ;) My work shift from 2-5 was cancelled, as well as my evening class!! So I ended up getting to run some errands and hanging out with a friend (drinking hot chocolate and talking about God and life). Then I made it home in time for Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy with Grandma (which I haven't done in forever!). I was so excited for such a relaxing day that I put off my Algebra homework until today and instead I worked on my afghan and went to bed early. Today I feel so much more refreshed. God is so good!

The rest of my week is looking to be just as uneventful. Which is perfect because Friday morning I leave for Chicago! I am going down as a chaperone with a group of high school students. We will get to visit a few different museums, the John Hancock building, a Mideval Knights dinner/tournament and the show Wicked. (And it's free to me!!!) I can't wait!

Praise: I am feeling much, much better physically, as well as spiritually.
Prayer: That I sleep well this week so I have enough energy to really enjoy and invest in the students this weekend.

Love and miss you all.

P.S. New pics on the side!