be my everything

2008-02-12T12:58:00.000-05:00

Guide the car, you've got the keys

Farewell to mediocrity

Kicking off the cruise control

And turning up the radio

Got just enough religion

And a half a tank of gas...

Still rolling....now I got my sister on the bandwagon up here in TC :)

Life is hard. But God is good.

2008-01-12T17:01:00.000-05:00

Got back to Traverse late Sunday night. Found out first thing Monday morning that one of my good friends up here had just passed away.

Kyle Robert Sonnemann, 28, passed away peacefully in his sleep at his home on Saturday. Though he experienced heart arrhythmias from birth, his death was sudden and unexpected.

I only met Kyle this past semester. We chaperoned a trip to Chicago together. Kyle’s smile was contagious. He was amazing with the youth. We kept hanging out after the trip…coffee, The Office and pictures and stories about each other’s families. He was a poet and shared many of his poems with me.

We were supposed to go snowshoeing together this Winter.

Kyle called me on Christmas day and I never called him back. He wished me a merry Christmas and a safe trip to China.

He had physical difficulties since birth. But he wasn’t defined by his disabilities, but by his abilities.

One day in Chicago Kyle and I were sitting with some of the girls on the grass outside of the Museum of Science and Industry. I got out my camera to take a picture and one of the girls asked what I was going to take a picture of. “I’m waiting for a hot guy to run by”, I said, joking, because there had been lots of joggers that afternoon. Immediately, Kyle jumps up and runs by the group…smiling the whole way. I’m so glad I snapped that picture :)

“this poem is for the boy
who was afraid to grow up
and find out what kind of man
he would be.

this poem is for the teenager
who always thought he wasn’t
good enough at anything, and realized
he was good at being himself.

it’s for a hopeless romantic
who is too afraid to let go of a person
he didn’t want to lose, only to find that
he gains love for himself.

and a new friend.

it is for a man who is realizing
his place in life isn’t to look down
all the time, but to look up and face
his fears.

this poem is about one person, but for so many.”
-Sonny

If you’ve ever had a good friend pass away, you know what it feels like. To lose someone whose number is in your phone and picture on your facebook. That hole, emptiness…even though I know where he is now. I’m sad because I don’t get to hear his laugh or give him a hug again…until heaven.

It struck me yesterday while crying on my way home that I serve a God who can, at the same moment, be comforting me and others in our loss, but also celebrating with Kyle in his joy!

Life is hard, but God is good.

2007-12-01T14:03:00.000-05:00

Vindicate me, O God, and plead my cause against an ungodly nation; rescue me from deceitful and wicked men. You are God my stronghold. Why have you rejected me? Why must I go mourning, oppressed by the enemy? Send forth your light and your truth, let them guide me; let them bring me to your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell. Then will I go to the altar of God, to God, my joy and my delight. I will praise you with the harp, O God, my God. Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. – Psalm 43

If anyone knows what was going on in my life year ago from right now (physically, emotionally, and spiritually) it’s starting to repeat itself. But I refuse to let it! Appreciate your prayers…

This week:
Something I worked at: Shoveling the driveway! (It’s not that small, either) I needed to get out and do something. Work and school involve too much sitting. It’s northern Michigan and we got snow :) Makes me happy.
Something I played at: Sledding! There is a huge hill across town and a friend and I went down it. It was so scary! Both times one of us had to drag our feet at the end so we wouldn’t start going back up the other side…into the trees!
Something I laughed at: My littlest brother’s unique drawings.
Something I cried at: Hmmm….well….. I cried when I laughed so hard at the above incident! That’s all ya get ;)
Someone who helped me: Hub helped me get my third new phone! Long story, but I now have a new phone for $50 cheaper than I would have bought it for and without the big crack. Yay!
Someone who makes me smile: Inga. She helps me survive my Tuesday night class.
People I still need to return phone calls to: Suzette, Tim, Benjamin, Vicky, my mom. And those are just the ones I remember.

Something exciting!!!!! I now have unlimited text messaging :) So send me a text sometime…I would love to hear from you. (Of course, calls are awesome too…it’s just that I can’t call you back when I’m in class…but I can text you back from class…hehe…)

It's a small world after all...

2007-11-18T20:59:00.000-05:00

This past Thursday night I went to a young adults Bible study that I randomly found out about at school. I had been the Thursday before, but their regular pastor wasn't there so I decided to go back. I've been trying to find some sort of a small group that I can get plugged in to.

After a little bit of talking to the pastor, he asked where I was from and I told him from Ohio. He asked where and I said near Ft. Wayne, Indiana. He said, 'Like by Hicksville?' I was so surprised!! Turns out his best friend was from Hicksville...and was also someone I know ;)

Later I was getting beat in a game of fuseball waiting for the night to start when a guy walked in who looked familiar. Of course, I don't expect to see anyone I know...but I looked again and then I realized who it was. Guess who it was, CGS people? Chris Treadway!!!! Random. So we talked for awhile...but mostly it was just good to see a familiar face...

The Bible study was really good. I'm very thankful I found it...

Death and dealing...

2007-11-10T12:48:00.000-05:00

Three doors down from my house with Grandma live my first cousins, once removed. (My grandma’s brother’s kids…my dad’s cousins.) Anyway, Mark is 51 and mentally handicapped. He had a job in town and the bus would pick him up every day to work. Janet is older than him and has health problems so she stays at home all day.

This past Monday Mark had a heart attack at the end of the driveway while waiting for his bus and died in the ambulance before he made it to the hospital. I didn’t know Mark very well, but I went today with Grandma and Janet to the only service that was held for him which was at the business he worked for. It’s a business that has offices and companies from around the city bring in jobs that the handicapped people can do and then they get paid for it.

Grandma, Janet and I showed up to a room full of people who were Mark’s friends. We sat in the front row as a man led the service. We prayed and then everyone sang Jesus Loves Me (at the top of their lungs! It’s all about making a joyful noise ;). Then different people shared about Mark.

One man stood up and said, ‘Mark liked to play Checkers! And he always beat me…’ The man leading the service asked if Mark had to cheat to beat him, ‘Nope!’ Tom piped up. ‘He beat me fair and square.’ Another lady stood up holding a teddy bear. She started crying and simply said, ‘I’m going to miss Mark…’ and then she hugged her bear. Others told stories of times he’s helped them at work or stood up for them. One girl announced that she had been his girlfriend and another man had a poem read that he had written for Mark. They told funny stories and laughed…they shared times they wish they had done something different towards Mark and wanted forgiveness…some missed him already and cried.

Afterwards we were mobbed by these dear people who wanted hugs and handshakes…as if we were their last connection to Mark. It struck me how different it was from any other funeral service I had ever been to. They were so honest...not afraid to touch us and talk to us…not worried about laughing out loud at a funeral…not bogged down by the questions and ‘unfairness’ others seem to deal with. Their friend was gone. They laughed remembering him and cried to think they had to go on without him.

Chicago trip

2007-10-26T15:19:00.000-04:00

Most of you know that I had the opportunity to go to Chicago last weekend. I went with a group of high schoolers who are in a scholarship program to come to NMC. They were all either Juniors or Seniors. Jim (the Director of Admissions and a man I work with) heads up the group along with another lady. And joining the two of them were Kyle and I (a bit younger!) as chaperones.

I was really excited about this weekend to get to hang out with the 26 high schoolers....really get to invest in them ...and explore Chicago all at the same time!

We did so much amazing stuff....lets see, where do I start?

Museum of Science and Industry
Medieval Times (dinner/theatre thing)
Chicago pizza!!!
Shedd's Planetarium
Broadway show Wicked
John Hancock building
And shopping!

It was such a great weekend! My favorite things were the Medieval Times (go Green Knight!!!) and Wicked. SO amazing. (Wicked is the story behind the Wizard of Oz...for those of you who didn't know ;) Anyway, it was a great weekend...and amazingly didn't wipe me out so much that I wasn't ready to crawl out of bed at 6 Monday morning ;)

Praise: Growing relationships here in TC
Prayer: Relationships here (funny how it's the same thing ;)

Love you guys...

2007-10-16T14:51:00.000-04:00

Sorry, Suzette, I was having some issues with accepting my comments. Thanks for all of them though ;)

Last weekend I went home again. (Amazing weekend...big thanks to Chad, Donny and my wonderful family for that ;) However, coming back to T.C. is always stressful. The whole ride up all I could think about was how crazy my week was going to be. Abe (the Amish guy I carpool with) gave me this big talk about not worrying about tomorrow and just trusting God to take care of things...take life one day at a time. So I took a deep breath and tried to do that..

Amazingly, Monday was the best day ever. I worked 8-11 and then took an exam at 11:20 (that wasn't the good part ;) My work shift from 2-5 was cancelled, as well as my evening class!! So I ended up getting to run some errands and hanging out with a friend (drinking hot chocolate and talking about God and life). Then I made it home in time for Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy with Grandma (which I haven't done in forever!). I was so excited for such a relaxing day that I put off my Algebra homework until today and instead I worked on my afghan and went to bed early. Today I feel so much more refreshed. God is so good!

The rest of my week is looking to be just as uneventful. Which is perfect because Friday morning I leave for Chicago! I am going down as a chaperone with a group of high school students. We will get to visit a few different museums, the John Hancock building, a Mideval Knights dinner/tournament and the show Wicked. (And it's free to me!!!) I can't wait!

Praise: I am feeling much, much better physically, as well as spiritually.
Prayer: That I sleep well this week so I have enough energy to really enjoy and invest in the students this weekend.

Love and miss you all.

P.S. New pics on the side!

2007-10-09T08:04:00.000-04:00

I went home last weekend and a bunch of people gave me a hard time for not updating my blog! Of those whining, Jana is the only one allowed to get away with it because she actually left me a comment! I don't know that people are actually reading this thing unless they say something (ahem*Brenda*ahem).

In other news: I had a great weekend back home...and I'm coming back this coming weekend too! After that (sadly) don't expect to see me too much...I can't balance all my homework and studies very well when I'm in Hick-town on the weekends. Especially because my M-F school/work load is insane. Today (for example) I'm completely booked from 8am-8:30pm with one 2hr 45min break (which is going to be PACKED with doing homework).

I have a bunch of pictures I want to show you all...but I won't have time to put them in until tomorrow after 7:30. So come back by...I promise they'll be entertaining :)

Prayer request: I'm getting sick. Not good.
Praise report: The colors up here are absolutely gorgeous. I can't not praise God every time I see the splashes of color on all the trees....love it!

2007-09-23T15:30:00.000-04:00

The other night Grandma wanted me to play the piano for her...so I sat down, grabbed the hymn book and started going at it. I played and she would try and guess the hymn. We were there at the piano for about an hour and a half! While flipping through the book, I realized that there are so many hymns I haven't sang in forever!!! See if you recognize any of these...

I Am Resolved
Like a River Glorious
Love Lifted Me
Alas! And Did My Savior Bleed?
Oh, to Be Like Thee
Tell Me the Story of Jesus

It made me miss singing hymns in church...

Yesterday Grandma and I went apple and plum picking. Check out the pics over on the side (I thought that might be the best way to display them!) We had such a good time! Now we have enough apples to last us forever! Yummmmmm....can't wait for apple crisp :)

I started reading through the gospels lately. I want to know more about the person of Jesus.

Classes and work are still good....love and miss you all :)

2007-09-16T15:17:00.000-04:00

I have decided that Sunday's are my most depressing day up here. Which is the total opposite of how I feel at home. Monday-Saturday I'm busy, busy, busy. Then Sunday comes and I go to church where I see other families and an unfamiliar church family....and it reminds me of all I have back home. Today we sang a really good song though, reminding me that HE is all I need....and He's still with me, even up here.

My Jesus, I love Thee, I know Thou art mine;

For Thee, all the follies of sin I resign;

My gracious Redeemer, My Savior art Thou;

If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, 'tis now.

I love Thee because Thou hast first loved me,

And purchased my pardon on Calvary's tree;

I love Thee for wearing the thorns on Thy brow;

If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus 'tis now.

I'll love Thee in life, I will love Thee in death,

And praise Thee as long as Thou lendest me breath;

And say, when the death-dew lies cold on my brow;

If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus 'tis now.

In mansions of glory and endless delight,

I'll ever adore Thee in heaven so bright;

I'll sing with a glittering crown on my brow;

If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus 'tis now...

In other news: I was elected an officer of the International Student Club. I wasn't going to volunteer because I'm so busy, but the Director of Admissions volunteered me anyway. So I have a board meeting with that this week.

It is absolutely beautiful up here. I think my favorite part of God's creation is water. I might even give up mountains, for water. Of course, if I live in Japan, I could probably have both...hehe....

Love and MISS you guys...

New and exciting things that happened to me today...

2007-09-11T20:04:00.001-04:00

Today I...

freaked out about turning an online assignment in incorrectly
took my first exam
got invited to hang out at some club (he said $2 pitchers, but of course to me it sounded like $2 pictures...so I got excited!! hehe...)
Almost got run over by a couple dancing
Joined the International Student Club. (I'm pretty excited about this one!!!)

Monday-Wednesday are crazy with classes and work. Thursday and Friday is pretty much just work...so it calms down a little.

Praise God for being with me on the drive home (notice, I didn't say for a SAFE drive home....He was driving with me. Whatever happens, He's there...praise Him :)
Praise God for the rainy, gloomy weather. I love it. It makes me feel like Eeyore :)
Praise God for new friends and free pizza....haha....

I miss you at home....

(off to take an online quiz....the fun just never stops ;)

Let the craziness begin...

2007-09-08T13:32:00.000-04:00

Last week was insane. Tuesday I had class and then I started my job! Worked 4 hours and then went to my night class. Got home after 9. Wednesday I had classes all day. Thursday I had class, then work and then I drove 6 hours home. (I'm home this weekend!) I'm looking forward to getting back to my T.C. home and having things settle down a bit. I want to get more of a routine going with school, work and study time. I'm a little stressed out this weekend...just because everything has been so crazy! However, I still love it up in Michigan. It's beginning to feel like home :)

But it's good to be back at my Hicksville home this weekend. Today (Saturday) Beth and I are hanging out all day. Granted, the first 5 hours (or so) consists of homework for both of us...at least we're doing it together :)

Well, I'm supposed to be taking an online quiz. So I better take off. Have a great Grabill Fair weekend!!!!!

2007-09-01T18:36:00.000-04:00

II Corinthians 2:14 - But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of Him.

2007-08-30T14:13:00.000-04:00

OK, I'm listing the praise reports first:

I'm sleeping better!
My classes are over for the week, my Grandma is out of town and after I get next week's homework done, I plan on spending my 4 day weekend relaxing...just me and God!!!
I got a job!!!!!! I interviewed for that job I mentioned on Wednesday and I got it!!!! I start next Tuesday. It's in the admissions office at school. Yay! Now I just have to properly balance my time to incorporate 17 credit hours and 20 hours a week at work...*insert excited smiley face here*
This weekend the weather forcast (which Grandma and I watch regularly ;) is supposed to be gorgeous. I love nice weather!

My first week of classes:

Business Math: Not too bad so far. I think I'm going to like it. My professor is cool even though he asks us all to call him by his first name, which I can't get used to! I sit at a table with two old(er) people, which I like. They make me laugh.
Algebra: I moved to this class from my Intro to Prob and Stats class 'cause I thought it would be better for me to warm back up into the whole math thing. Boring. The teacher is good, but he's so intent on making sure that everyone understands everything he's moving reeeaaaallllyyyyy slow. The kid who sits next to me is pretty bored too. So we mostly just randomly chat to entertain each other.
Accounting Principles: I think I will learn a lot in this class! The prof has a monotone voice which gets a little...bleh....after a while, but the concepts are all new, so it keeps my attention. I'm looking forward to learning more. I sit by this guy who works at Ponderosa.
Electronic Spreadsheets: Microsoft Excel. My prof is an old retired teacher, but she knows what she's talking about! I hope to learn a lot in this class....'cause I currently know next to nothing about Excel! I sit by a girl named Inga (sweet name!) who is definitely cool. Too bad this class is only once a week...
Business Law: Yeah, so I know nothing about business law. I'm looking forward to reading the first few chapters of the book. I think that will help me follow class discussion better. My prof is an attorney so I expect to learn a lot...if he will just stay on track with his lectures...so many rabbit trails!

Other random things:

Chip and Dale have been staying out of trouble, for those of you who are wondering.
I'm walking a couple miles every day (or, almost every day!) which is nice. I gave up jogging 'cause my knees were hurting too much. But walking is good enough 'cause there are so many hills!
I found two coffee shops I like for studying. VERY important ;)

That's all. Love you guys!

2007-08-26T19:14:00.000-04:00

Exciting announcement! This Christmas break I'm going to China with a group from my church! I can't wait! The plan (as of now, and is subject to change) is to teach English to Chinese kids. I was able to do that in Japan and loved it! I can't wait :)

I missed the big Jeopardy night I was waiting for. A friend called me. But taking the call was most definitely worth it :):) However, I share this story to say to all my other friends out there....feel free to call me up here! I don't know anyone so it's pretty boring. I may not miss Jeopardy for you, but I'd call right back...and I'd love to hear from you!

Church was rough today because it makes me miss MY church. I might go to their college group tomorrow night.

Classes start tomorrow. I'm excited/anxious/YIKES!

Love and miss you guys....

2007-08-24T16:59:00.000-04:00

Awww...thanks for the comments/making me happy :)

Before and after pictures of my bedroom here in Traverse. I'm staying with my grandma who has been living alone since my grandpa passed away last year. This bedroom has been the same for as long as I can remember...so I think Grandma was a little shocked when she saw it! haha...change is good :)

I can't control the placement of the pictures very well. Sorry it's so crazy...

Grandma and I are getting used to being around each other. It's different for us both! So far we've been playing Rummikub and watching the news and Wheel of Fortune together. I'm definitely getting to know her better!

One thing I have really enjoyed is watching all the birds on the bird feeder outside the livingroom window! I used to know a lot of the bird names back in the day and I've been surprised with how many I remember! (If I can't figure one out, I consult the bird book :) There is one whose name is eluding me. I find this quite frustrating. I can see his coloring in my head, but I can't find it in the book! Grrr. Anyway, the birds prove to be quite distracting. See? I've already learned one spot in the house that I shouldn't do my homework...God's creation is too distracting ;)

Prayer request: that I start getting more sleep. No sleep is brutal.

Praise report: we're getting rain. And that I got my schedule figured out (I had a slight problem with one class).

Love you guys....

2007-08-22T13:13:00.000-04:00

I have arrived in Traverse City where, as most of you know, I'll be going to Northwestern Michigan College. I still haven't unpacked, but it's amazing to be here! Even though it's hot and sticky I live right on the water!!!!! *sigh* I stopped at the beach on my way home from school the other day and just laid in the sand and listened to the water. That will most definitely become a routine for me. It was a good time to debrief from the day, pray, take a deep breath and just be still.

Had a few issues with classes/crabby people, but I think that's all behind me. I can't wait to start! I'm taking 5 classes: Accounting Principles I, Business Math, Business Law I, Electronic Spreadsheets, and Intro to Prob and Stats.

My exciting story: First day on campus I locked my keys in my truck. So I got to meet the security guy since he let me borrow a screwdriver. Bleh!

My praise report: God is already opening the door for a job for me up here! He is so good :)

Well, I'm starting this blog to keep everyone updated (and because my dad can check this one....and keep track of me ;) Love you guys...leave me a comment if you made it to the site OK!

Tallie